2012 is just < 2yrs away..

Oh man I've GOT to start blogging and finally I have new fodder, my recent Europe trip! It's been a whole decade since the last time I was there and we took tons of pics this time! pretty ones, at least. :D I won't blog about that today just yet; I haven't even uploaded the pics on fb because fb couldn't load all 2000 pics properly and hung whenever I tried to. So i gotta dissect the pics into separate files first :(

Anyway. i just really wanted to blog about my first experience in the second half of the circle line today.. was out dinner w tiff and we took the esplanade route to payar lebar. I dunoo if it's the fact that an impending fever has just hit me after having flu the whole day at work, but I just felt this solid fear that got me really paranoid on the trip back.

Well it just hit me that with the new Circle line, Singapore's just getting more and more hollowed out! I was staring at the MRT map on the side of the two-seaters, and just getting more and more scared. Like, the lines are covering the whole diamond of Singapore, and doesn't that mean the ground structure's gonna be weaker?

Not that it helped that i was with the other team at Merlion Park a few hours back for the photoshoot, right in front of the new Marina Bay Sands that stood impendingly on RECLAIMED land.. like the sudden realisation that more and more things are being built on fake Singapore grounds and more and more tunnels are being dug underneath...

DOESN'T IT MAKE SENSE THAT IT WILL ALL COLLAPSE ONE DAY?!! i dunno man i just tried to block all the thoughts out cos it was way too scary. Pardon my un-informed mind, I may just be paranoid.

Tiff was like laughing and said well if the world collapses, just make sure u grab your loved ones and die together. Just don't die alone with strangers. haha how true. I thought how if the world ended now, I would be relieved if not happy if I'm w my whole family..but I would regret not ever seeing larry again though. hm. says something? don't know.

Earth Song by MJ was playing repeatedly in my head. I gotta get the song out man it's makin me feel sadder at the plight of the world. It's like I get super paranoid when I'm with alot of humans in crowded places. Like something sure happen if I'm stuck in a train packed with people, or in a city square packed w people like in NYC's Times Square...

Disaster always likes to target packs of humans dunnit? Check out 2012 or Independence Day! Dammit Hollywood.

man i think i'm really getting a fever, kthanksbye.

Michael Jackson Earth Song HD

This song made me cry today..I wish I knew MJ better and checked him out earlier. Caught This is it on the airplanes to and from Europe because the songs were stuck in my head all through my trip, and I just had to watch it again when I came back. Love MJ's songs! This is one of my favs cos I feel so much for it.

God Bless MJ.

I give in, Iphone!

woo there's been a dry spell here on the blog! it's horrid once u stop u can't stop stopping! very bad, this procrastination.

I have decided. I will get an iphone!!! after analysing between the BB and the iphone. Sighs yes world, I give in to your mindless tapping on touch screens. :P Finally, since my trusty nokia has taken a tumble once too many and is breaking down.. All those apps are tempting me! I need it so badly to take pictures and blog on the spot and radio and so many other things...though i think i'm a tad late in catching up. better late than never?

Gah. should i wait for the next version to come out first? Heard it can multitask! howhowhow.

Alice in Wonderland~

Mad Hatter: Have I gone mad?

Alice: I'm afraid so. You are entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

ooh I enjoyed Alice in Wonderland! The quotes were so quirky and memorable, and perhaps cos we sang Jabberwocky in choir once, I could identify very much with the lyrics because Tim Burton's movie plot was very much centred around that story about slaying the Jabberwocky with the Vorpal sword and bandersnatch and all that gibberish sense that most would not understand or catch.. lol. and did i mention I love Johnny Depp?

okay I'm one out of a million of his fans, i know. Anw surprisingly I was intrigued by Depp's makeup in the movie..wasn't as dark as I thought it'd make him look..

And everything in Wonderland seemed to have curiously enlarged eyes or mouths or something, I really like it on Anne Hathaway! Although she was abit weird in the show, gesturing with every sentence she says..

Oh wells I love shows like this cos it takes me away from reality for a bit. Gonna end with the jabberwocky lyrics.. I miss singing it! :)

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

Beware the Jubjub bird,

and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:

Long time the manxome foe he sought

So rested he by the Tumtum tree,

And stood a while in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,

The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,

Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,

And burbled as it came!

One two! One two!

And through and through

The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

He left it dead,

and with its head

He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?

Come to my arms, my beamish boy!

Oh frabjous day!

Callooh! Callay!"

He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

I know You sent angels, but..

You know how sometimes you put in everything into something and someone just tells you it's trash? That's probably one of the top 10 worst feelings in the world. Sometimes I really hate being in singapore because of the really ugly people who exist. I know it has nothing to do with Singapore alone because by right ugly people are found wherever you find humans. But right now I just wish I was away having a holiday or something, perhaps to where my Colombian friend says it's paradise where he is. Sighs. I have yet to met a Singaporean to say that abt our island..

It hasn't been a pleasant weekend. I would have enjoyed the lovely rain over the weekend except that work made me jumpy and wishing the rain away instead. And then I left my laptop in the cab though thank God it's found, and i've been snappy and upset that led to me being mean to the B.. And then having today's incident which is still ruthlessly attacking my tearducts everytime I think of it, and the worries for the next weekend..

Sighs. and everyone seems to be heading off to a lovely holiday somewhere pretty. It is getting a little late for me to find a travel partner or waiting for B's reply, if that even happens. I duno. life seems a little too much to bear at this moment and there are lots of "why me" and "how come" questions popping in my head which don't make things any better.

*sniff* Lord let some sunshine in soon aight? but thanks though, I did notice the angels you sent along the way..

I know I shouldn't just sit and pray for things to come. But... how? *sobs lonesomely in the office*

Why was I feeling so happy yesterday but today, so miserable and totally feeling the doom of having overestimated the situation? gahh. Lord help me have last min miracles again! and plsplspls dun let it rain this weekend.. bai tuo bai tuo..

Pssst... It's the SRM! :D

And so, the FIRST successful weekend was over, and t'was a major "WHEW" and a wipe of my brow. I so can do this! I think FWOC trained me well. My partner would be so proud of me, I was telling Bulu. haha!

It was really a huge sigh of relief and a big pat on my back for myself, knowing I weathered the storm mostly alone, yet there was also a wound up coil inside, bracing myself for the next battle for the coming weekend.

Let me tell you the story.

Basically on Thursday morning, me and Boss Luke got into a tight fix when Central called to say we were not given permission to set up if we didn't get official approval from SLA. I had already applied for licence a safe 2 weeks before, but apparently it takes longer than that (u know govt bodies and their levels of management).

Hence, it became a snowball of calls to get to SLA's head then to assistant to second-in-calling and to and fro from Central's SRM i/c to second-in-calling to head, and to my tentage guys who were waiting to load and set up at Central.. what a pain in the a**! All that stress for a piece of paper. sighs. It really took up lots of mental energy.. so finally when we got going it was way past the set up time at 4pm, and I monitored the set up til past midnight, determined to see through my first set up.

Was falling asleep near the riverside when one of the guys came and asked if i was going to monitor all the way cos they might finish at dawn. haha! well thank goodness all was fine and Luke took me home. I don't think i'm supp to be so kancheong anyway. If i'm gonna do this for every event i'll surely die.

But the whole thing was exciting, set up to coordinating to tear down! Well not the typical job i know, and March's sun doesn't do any justice to all me and my men/girls' hard work, but i did have a few heartening moments. One was when Boss stuck throughout (i mean yes it was time he did something to show support haha), and then when an experienced colleague came down to physically help set up (i couldn've done it without her!) and the gals who helped out as well!

And many came to support; the CG ppl popped by, my lovely 6th floor girls, Bulu who specially brought his DSLR, and Daryl and Bao who came on the second night and saved the night with Rochor tauhuey and the late night ride home! *beams* :) Absolute love to the friends!

I think my sincerity also touched the vendors cos most of them have become my friends and some stuck on for another week or 3!! hahahhaahha :D

okay enough bragging about me. sighs. perhaps this project does seem menial and more sweat than aircon; or perhaps it's just the shadow of friends' doubt criticizing it. Then again friends should support and give pride not derrogate right?

Alrightey i will post pics when I can!! Meanwhile it's another exciting 3 wks! Come support! :)

Gdbye CNY, Hello SRM!

Perhaps, I am wrong about this whole thing. I keep telling myself to have a little more faith, but it has become a whole wait infused into my life that has, for a really long time now, not been proven worthwhile. Should I, should I not? sighs.

I should dunk my mind more thoroughly into work it seems. How come work is not taking me far away enough? There is so much to handle this week that it feels like ALL the little army of workers in my brain are churned into full speed ahead on the turbines, yet. That one department meant to be shut down still pumps away, sapping mental energy over a stupid subject.

Wake up ur idea girl.

On happier note, well for sis anyway, she's in bangkok for a week! Skipped school with the bf to go shopping! I wish i wish i was on that trip too, I miss my Thai friends, plus I need an adventure! I can't wait for my turn, even if it involves work to a certain extent to go w Bro to Korea again! Can't wait to take up Korean classes and learn something new; it'd be fun doing a class w bro! I think. haha.

Oh yes so anyway it was the last day of CNY yesterday, and on Friday and Saturday were the once-in-a-long-time gatherings with 04s41 and my FWOCers! Really good catchups. And caught up with Kenji and Tiffany too! HTHTs are always good for the soul.

Now I hope it's slightly rejuvenated to handle the SRM!

And to xx. Thanks for the 5 sec derogatory look about my job. It doesn't have a fine name to it but i bet it's a thousand times more interesting than yours. I don't need your bloody judgement.

Chingay'10~

It's a really really bad thing, this effect on people, that urge to always want what you can't get.. I'm itching so bad to write and ask for it but i know i must not be defeated in this battle of will and emotion display; it's like a game of manipulation. Perhaps it's another mind game I created, but how else should it be? It is the only ever way I know how to play it. I just wish it werent' so complicated, it never was supposed to be this way. sighs.

Alright enough of the mysterious talk. Wanted to blog about the fantastic Chingay parade yesterday!! It was a riot of colours and a wonderful display of dance and music! So glad to be a spectator this time after last year's participation; I thoroughly enjoyed myself! Though I think i might've looked like a maniac throwing abandon to the wind and running alongside the KR troupe waving the gold pompom. -_-. haha, we only live young once no?

Came alone actually, but the great thing about a community past or present is that some of it sticks around all the time! Was supposed to wait for joce and beng for my tickets, but I met some Eblkers near the stands and entered early, trying to check out the floats and all.. entered the stands with dozens of KR ppl already seated in bunches, but I still ended up seated with just Daniel alone cos I was too excited and didn't know I could sit with the Cblkers! Boo.

But I still enjoyed the whole procession! The number of people performing was immense; I loved the front part where there were dozens of Lion and Dragon dancers, which at some point had those real fire crackers which were deafening and uber smoky. But I always held some fascination for fire crackers I have no idea why, and these were the kind which were banned and we hardly ever see in Spore. They literally go pi li pa la!! hahaaha okay bimbo i know but i was really intrigued. And I loved it when the place burst open with canary yellow paper slips that floated all around and twirled down towards us! It really is an experience you can't get watching it from TV.

Anyway can't rmr much about the rest, I really wish I had a DSLR so I could take pretty pictures of such moments; pretty sure I would capture a picture to depict what I felt. That's already been sitting in the piggybank list. :)

So when KR's float came by we started cheering from our side, and a few of us ran down from the stands to follow their movement towards the end..super crazy!! I really hope i didn't embarrass myself. LOL. But that was really the fun part! i only wish that I had more company! Should've joined rach and joycie them on the first day.. :( But i had joce for company, which was good as well.

Met up with Heidi and zhu and some of the Cg gang and hung out til late..it was a good night, it's back to work tmw..

Gosh I'm super worried for so many things not done!! Gahh I really hope that all's going to be fine for the SRM, people do come down and support ya! :) Clarke Quay, Clarke Quay!


I really can't wait for a holiday.

Rawrr in the year of 2010~

Finally, there are some decent pictures for me to post on my pic-starved blog!! Cos sis came back and i used her cam to go round snapping pics during our first CNY after Ah kong's passing..

:( I was a tad nostalgic and missing him when we got our first ang bao from ahma on chuxi night after the steamboat... It is usually after or followed by Ahkong's first angbao!! The rest of the aunties and uncles give theirs the next day on Chu yi..Can't believe like 3 years has passed since the last official CNY where we used to take family pictures in our small families and then altogether as a huge bunch!

Ohwell, anyway we took a cousin picture for Emmie who's away in NZ! Check us out, all grown up and tall now, no more those kids on the floor dressed in flowery dresses! :) Super fast.

Anyway this year's CNY was rowdy and vibrant, and we had the buffet again on the first night for the Sinma staff, our tradition for years now except the last couple..super crowded! The food ran out pretty quick too! But we were so bored we started camwhoring. haha! see below.

I realise with visiting, that when we are finally old enough to understand the true meaning behind visiting the extended relatives, that they have suddenly become pretty old. Many of them are frail and the age shows with dark spots and cracked voices, slowing movements.

Instead of mindlessly chomping down on the usual goodies, I start to listen to the conversations only my parents have each year with them..suddenly realising that this might not be, in another 5 years down the road.. I wonder how things will be like when we take over as parents, and my parents take over as being the "visited".. I hope things will be the same, if not more close-knit. :)

Anyway, here are some of my fav pics!

雨过天晴！

Yes it truly feels like the clouds have moved away and i just threw a huge haversack off my back! I think even my colleague feels the change and i'm full of bounce today. :D

Things are settling better and seemingly more manageable for the SRM and it the slots are slowly coming through..I hope the lady with 10shops zidong come and find me after haggling for the minimum price without giving any confirmation! Grr. I don't neccessarily need you now, my hardwork has paid off, though i can't be too complacent. yet.

Still. Happy that things are moving along better, and hopefully the cheques will come in as well! :) As always, things can always be worse. haha my tagline recently.

Well of course, happiness stems not only from progress for the SRM, but from the heartstrings tied oh-so-far away too.. every obstacle we face just drives the fact that it matters that much to me, more starkly into my unconvincing brain. It's just impossible to not feel anything even with the distance. Theo, u're wrong, Brain, u were wrong too. Apparently the emotions seem all the more tangible because that's all we have right now.

And the fact that we are both affected the same way makes those feeling somehow more worthwhile? that it isn't one-sided and somewhere miles away, we were both hurt and then felt the pain lift away when the argument was solved.. If I am not wrong, someone reallyreally likes me as much as i want him; too bad we are miles apart.

haha cheesy i know.

kk gg to stop here cos i shluoldn't be blogging at work!Tata.

I hate dealing with crazy uncles.
I duno why i'm feeling so blue today.
I hate waiting.
I hate being used.
I hate not being able to help being used.
I hate feeling so sorry for myself.
I hate being stuck where i am.


I'm so glad i'm seeing J in half an hour.

Woots new bodehh here i come

Hahahaha. I swam and did sauna today! I've found a new favourite place to love!! THe Chinese swimming club pool!! there were only 3 ppl today including me!! Loves it.

Kudos to me, ive been exercising everyday this week! Run on Mon and Tues, Swim and sauna on Wed! It's time for some chillout sessions tmw w Theo!! Woots can't wait! :)

CNY dresses here I come! (lol but can't say too early, dinner w theo tmw, co. chalet w bbq buffet on Sat! :x)

horoscope jan27

You may be happy if the pressure in your life is decreasing and that your experiences have taught you as much as they did. You have the opportunity now to integrate your feelings into your social interactions. Trusting others enough to freely share your heart is the greatest gift possible. Don't miss this chance to let someone special past your defensive walls.


Why is today's horoscope so ling!! :D

Love Hurts...Love Hearts.
The difference is one or two letters.

So apt.

boredboredboredboredbored!!!

Yo.

Yes I know I haven't been updating..but the past two weeks, honestly there wasn't much about my life but work, home, and mini meet ups..It's the end of a week again; honestly time seems monotonous and fluid now, passing fast and becoming more and more mundane.. every weekend I literally grasp the roots of my hair and walk around the house going "damnboreddamnboreddamnbored" until my ma really gets it. and then I eat more, sleep more, and eat more again. GAH.

Seeing the recent block shoot pictures didn't help things..I'm glad an awesome girl took my place. But it seems I've been wiped out of their worlds; perhaps I wasn't a strong entity in the first place. sighs. it seems a faraway life time.

That urge to take flight beats so strongly right now, especially after seeing xun's pictures in France, those beautiful, snowy mountains and pretty churchy houses.. I'm missing out on all the snow winter around the world is offering! And then yesterday the Hope for Haiti all-star live on mtv and channels all around the world just really triggered another stirring in my heart. If i didn't have work commitments, I would do something to help. I mean, right now it's just donations of money and blood, but like if I could be there physically, i would.

Although, I know; Singapore's so far away and people here are too apathetic to care about Haiti anyway. Sighs. I know. I just feel very sad for all those poor people there and the crying babies with nothing to eat nor drink. If only Newater sent gallons of those tiny bottles of clean water our people scoff at over to Haiti, this world would be a tiny bit happier somewhere else.

Well despite all my ranting and the inner traveller in me clamoring to get out, I am still excited and of course nervous about my upcoming event. At least vendor requests are coming in (though not pouring in enthusiastically, but good enough i guess), and I'm seeing a more solid picture going to form and materialise (i hope!)! Good luck to meee!

Meanwhile, i think i should get my lazy ass off and figure a way to fit some exercise into my regime. I'm. getting. fat. literally! :( How am i gonna fit into those CNY dresses!! gahh. and I need to fill my schedule with more socialising and maybe, Korean classes? hehe. thinking of that. I'm going to be so shagged when March hits. Planplanplan in advance!

okie dokes. enough ranting. Wish I have pretty pictures to post but currently it's zilch with no camera nor a good bod to show off. haha! bleah hope things look cheerier come CNY! :)

Beanie Baby

This is a really random post, but while I'm uploading phone pics, think this should go up on my blog.. Yesterday at dinner time while the whole family was at the dinner table save my ma and Huifang's ma who were looking after the baby, it fell asleep after having milk and ma was tired of carrying it, so we put it in the huge beanie to sink into its cushy goodness.


And here's how Baby B looked like:

A tiny thing in a huge beanie..we always have a pillow over its tummy to keep it warm and give it weight or smth to sleep.. Anw if u spot his posture..

The beanie apparently is so comfy he has his hands behind his head, relac style! hahaha cuteness.



Anw, as to the previous post, all's fine!! False alarm, theory 4 was right. bah. technology and its side-effects. :P

L where are u?

Sighs. Our song is playing on the radio right now. I'm worried. He hasn't replied my email for 2days now, really unlike him to take so long.. the thing about an LDR is that it is crazy hard to know how the other person is doing if he doesn't get back to you.. It's not like I knew him long enough to know his friends, family or anyone long-lasting enough to be mutual friends.. :(

It's like. I have 5 theories why he isn't replying..
1) Email didn't get thru (highly unlikely, it's gmail.)
2) He doesn't want to reply cos he has no answer to my question/succinct hint/tinge of irritation
3) He's cheating on me and decided to take advantage of the convenience of distance to dump me without any emotional baggage (nah. don't think so.)
4) Internet/phone broke down
5) Something bad has happened to him

And right now it's theory 5 that's bugging me to no end. I was a tinge bit frustrated about the distance (not literally) that has been growing cos of the lack of close communication (meaning msning and webcalls) during the holidays. So I sent him an email. Christmas and New year was really a long period! Plus, I didn't get to spend them with my special someone. (*whines*)

But now i'm feeling a tad regretful and guilty for even showing a hint of neediness, because if anything's happened to him, I don't want my last words to him to be "hey i need more attention" but more along the lines of "hey i'm here for you".

Sighhhhhs. I think I'm getting karma for being so needy in my first relationship, so now I'm being taught a lesson to not be so reliant.

God. I'm going crazy being worried right now. It's funny cos I'm feeling a different kind of tired now, 8months into this new r/s. It's like, being pulled back and forth missing-thinking of him, and then worried-thinking of the entire situation.

I know I know, I'm thinking too much. But what if something really happened to him!!? There is no way i will ever know of it!! sobs. omgomgomg. Okay i know i'm over-reacting and I shld go to sleep now..

gosh. I'm tired.

I don't know if we both each have a destiny, or if we were all just floating around accidentally like on a breeze..

But I think, maybe it's both. Maybe both's happening at the same time.

-Forrest Gump

爱情，就好像在山上找最完美的石头。可是，一个人的手里只能握住一颗石头。如果要找到更完美的石头，就要先把自己手里的那块给扔掉。。。

也可能，好的石头都已经滚到湖底去了 。。