i don't know why i love this game so much, we just rawk!!

Fairy thoughts~

wow. it's been a hectic week. a pretty hilly one, actually, with the deep valleys and all. sighs. I guess, the year's pretty much been so too..so many ups and downs.

the fact that it's already the last twenty days of the year suddenly dawned(or rained) on me like a December shower today..Year 2007 is almost past and here comes 2008! This year was lucky, and i guess, was pretty happening and exciting, as i had anticipated it to be last December, embracing the year that comes with the lucky number 7~ well 8's gonna be better and larger than life! I just know it.

2007 brought me out of my shell and i experienced so much and learned to accept and appreciate too many things that i had taken for granted previously.. ...hm oh no. im in a reflective mood today..haha. wells. anyway..this week probably was a kinda summary of it all..

Started out with my new love for touch(our first touch prac and it was at Siloso!(: ), and Piano, and then in the early part of the week i met up with an old love which sparked feelings i thought had long been buried deep and masking-taped in a box in a dark corner of my heart--that was kinda the peak--and then that night itself, my pretty smiling snowman on the top of the mt crumbled and caused an avalanche..i cried tears i never knew i had. maybe in so many ways there has been scars..i thought i'd covered it well in the past 6months, even i forgot about it..

But it hurts. still. i think i will never recover from it--it'll prob be there to judge the next love; there as a proof of the strength i've gained from the pain, an unbreakable, invisible case around my heart. I'll leave the pain aside til next year tho. i don't wanna deal w it right now. Just wait til it comes..

The day after, though, the Big Man above gifted me Angels..I've been shown so many times this year that there are people behind me.. and strongly on my side, too. Pretty lost for words. So, so thankful for that..i guess my lucky star's never really gone away, just stopped shining for abit. The happiness and gratitude just spilled out though i couldn't really tell anyone fully in laughter nor smiles..Thank you. Whoever was there. Three major times this year, too. during FWOC, and block comm, and this.

Then yesterday i was reminded that my Mom was really, i mean really. the most open-hearted and accepting Mom anyone could really have, and my dad too, of course. Kinda made me guilty for all the times i took, and will take them for granted, and i felt, i must've done something right my past life to live the one i live now.

Anyways, 2007's brought to me at least three new groups of people, and i'm amazed that these weren't just the usual acquaintances--the hi-bye kinda friends.. They're people i've lived with, people i've gone through happiness, and some sorrow with, and people i've come to love. And most of all, 2007's also brought me closer to the groups of friends i already had--to really cherish the friendships that have been forged through time.. they say the new one's silver and the old ones' gold, innit? (: That gold's very much treasured.

Well, i'd say it's been a lovely year, folks! I've grown and loved as a person, and am very much (as nostalgic as it is to say this), a full-fledged Twenty-year old! The past two decades has been well-lived i should say, and Next year will start a whole decade when i hit the freedom digits!

WHoo. So much to embrace. ok. shall end this reflection here for now~ may this year's X'mas bring a gorgeous closure to wrap up this year in a pretty package!

omg. my world is shattered. the pain i never knew i had in me just keeps pounding like waves over and over i just can't swallow..shit. this hurts like shit wth. wthwthwth. i can't believe this! just tell me why! f bastd. shit am i e only one to handle it on my own!! omg i can't scream shit but i feel like letting it out..shit. the pictures hurt more than i thought it would. *screams* kill me me now.

Zouked out!

hm. oKay. my first monday of the holidays..what have i been doing.. woke at 230, watched tv til 6pm, hit the piano and got chopin in my blood, more tv, surfed facebook, and fell asleep on my lappie, more surfing, and now its midnight!

oh man this rocks. hahaha..ok but this cannot go on. touch starts tomo at 830!! yay i can't wait actually..tho i know i'll have prob waking up and rushing back to hall..and i don't have my sports shoes yet! which sucks. i'm so gonna hit queensway soon i swear.

oh yes. and we have officially ZOuKed OUt! yesterday night. or morning. or somewhere in between. Was really fun, but super shagged at e same time. both ed n daryl zonked out, and pretty much wasted the ticket, but we had fun playing games at e carpark still, and a little more, dancing on the beach after.. no foam, i have no idea why, cos i heard there usually is--maybe we missed it? i don't know. but gd thing too, woulda made the night a little more dangerous and messier than it already was..

we had good music tho, and even better company, and coupla solid drinks, that got us high enough to dance and make merry, but not too overboard.. Me n SHar broke our slippers at the same time, just before we managed to enter zoukout! sucky, really. walked back barefoot..(sobs my two-day-old slippers!) i wish i used my $5 dollar ones.

Oh, and the night before, the class had a stayover at Sentosa Beach Resort, which was of course, full of fun! there was the usual cam-whoring, cards, tiny majong--courtesy of daryl, and guitar-playing--i learnt a few keys! (:, HBO, and of course, the drinking games, which was Soooo funny. ed sucks at the games lahh ahha or maybe he's just too good to bully. pictures up on facebook @ http://smusg.facebook.com/album.php?aid=14220&id=506382886&page=3! i wish my cam was in a better state cos now i don't have pics of my own.. :(

Anyhoo, all in all its been a fab two days over the weekend, and there's gonna be lots more to come this season! Maybe God let Hongleong finance miss me cos he's got a higher calling for me. haha like, fun! I'm gonna have this really cool party with the Odiners, and the SMRT prez is gonna have a really gd one too w dad so me n sis prob gonna tag along for a snippet of some of the goodies she usually caters. hahaa whee. and i'm meeting mao this wed. hope that turns out fine..he's just practical as usual, and i find now that i really am over him.

thank goodness xmas fills my heart with so many others to love, and no matter what happens, i think my christmas this year's gonna be colourful.

No white ones for me thankew, mine's multi-coloured. :D

yay 6th dec is here!

whoopeedoodah!! it's over!! i can't believe i'm feeling so elated but i do! Realise i have been cooping myself in my room too much, last nite Riz came and told me he hadn't seen me for a long time..and boy did he lose weight! tsk. exams. anyway, yay!!! bogglific!! isketch!! my floor's been gg crazy with the games, and it was just torturing yesterday when me n cuz were e only ones with the last paper today.... wooooot! finally!!!

i really hope hope hope this time things go well..don't wanna think about it right now.. so many things to do right now! lots to settle, and lots to look forward to.. really gotta organise my time! too much to do and too little time..was shopping last wkend, soaking in the xmas spirit at Vivo..whoo!! i love love love xmas!! just looking at the fake snowflakes and fake christmas trees also makes me happy. hurhur.

okay, i must go celebrate now..make up for all that lost time when all the NTU and SMU ppl alr start playing.. and i got my chopin pieces!!brilliant~ :D

you know, i was thinking all those thoughts of having u for christmas..
then i thought how selfish i was
Christmas is for giving!
And i must have a heart big enough to let go.
So, have yourself a merry little christmas, no matter how far away u are,
I'll have my own little one here too~ :)

i can't believe i just did that.

shucks. i swear i'm mad i swear i'm mad! sis says i have a bit of priority problem. i think its huge!! I'm so gonna die if yall find out. shoot me. i hope everything works out...it better better be..lord God pls cast a miracle and let me be sane when i'm there..nono, not for my exams.

Ah Kong~

I was buying goodluck roses for my girls yesterday afternoon, when i my mom told me about my granddad's critical situation..she said that they were moving him home cos he had like two or three days left, according to the doctor.. That got me pretty alarmed, and i thought me n sis'd move home the next day on saturday..But dad called at night and told us to go home after dinner, just in case..was worried that anyone from home would call me actually, after the negative news in the afternoon..

But ahkong passed away this morning, 7+am..I don't know why, but i just woke up for no reason at seven itself, but went back to sleep. then 15 mins later, we were woken up by aunti P who said ahkong wasn't breathing anymore..oh god. if only i went down to check at 7am itself..It was just a quiet, simple affair, and i hope he really passed as peacefully as he looked.. I'm glad i prayed for him that night..i never knew it'd be the last time before he left..

The whole family came after that..I really really am so grateful, and inwardly proud, that everyone really came together, and the strength was just evident in emotional, spiritual and physical support..It's been near 15 hours since then, and everyone is still here, tired, but still sticking around for support. Really feel for er gu, who isn't here, and rushing back..I think the hurt and regret would be overwhelming..esp since she'd be back in time for the cremation but not in time to see ahkong..i can't imagine when she comes back..it'd be awful.

Gosh i kinda didn't study the whole day and yesterday already..so so buang for FNA already..worried. thankgoodness there's two more days, and then the two major exams at one shot. ahkong bao you get A please.. sighs.

Gawd. spending too much time bogglificking and just bought something from VS again! geesh. These are the things i do to wake me up. (@_@)zzz WAKE UP TIANYU...

Monday, mugging mood~~

i'm living in a whirlwind where there are no saturdays and sundays..everyday is just studyday. and time is passing too fast whereas i'm studying too painfully slow!
i'm beginning to count my days through module chapters i have finished/yet to finish and can barely recall what day it is already..this whole mugging phase is really getting monotonous. urgh. i wish i could start to love studying--like what someone just told me. sadly, FNA/BSP & me just don't go.

today the banging and drilling at the constructions next door almost drove me nuts, and the night really brought respite from the day's frustrations..so thankful the rainy days are here, and sleep comes readily at night--though the dreams still linger every morning--ah my mind is just so full of so many things..

yaa..it's one am now and me marc and emsie are starting to talk of food! drools--crystal jade and ding tai fung..and blackie just came in with half a pack of chilli jack n jill!! haha aw man. i'm having like supper everynight luh..fuels my brain but its making me fatter!!! aiyo how to zoukout lidat sia. ok i mustn't sleep at four tonight again. spoiling my bioclock for my FIVE 9am papers! better sleep before i start getting hungrier~~